Rising Above Fear

I’ve spent most of the past four+ years letting fear dictate my life. It has controlled what I do, what I think, how I feel, and my relationships with other people.

Recently I found out that I am pregnant. A new fear has come up. Ironically, it is the fear of passing the fear disease to my child.

Overcoming this seemingly all-encompassing fear that has ruled my life for too long has never been more urgent.

From now on, I am going to put more focus on things that help me become stronger and better, as opposed to fueling the fire of giving attention to the fear itself.

“It may look as if the situation is creating the suffering, but ultimately this is not so – your resistance is.” – Eckhart Tolle

I discovered an amazing radio show recently called Invisibilia. There is an episode called Fearless and I highly recommend it. At the end of the show, they gave a formula for fear. It is so simple, and because of its truth and simplicity makes so much sense.

Time + Thinking = Fear

Click here to check out Invisibila.

Thank you for reading. ❤ Artemis

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Pregnant and Agoraphobic

I finally made it to a clinic today for the pregnancy. It’s confirmed – I’m definitely pregnant, but I already knew that.

The whole event was incredibly stressful. It involved my boyfriend, my mother, my mothers friend and her daughter coaxing me into the car over the course of three hours while I cried and hyperventilated about driving to the clinic.

At several points I started screaming and trying to get out of the car.

But I made it.

I was fine at the clinic.

It was just driving there, and driving back that were really difficult for me.

I have no idea how I’m going to get through these next months.

I’m going to have to go to a lot of doctors visits.

My best friend is also pregnant, she is flying halfway across the country in two weeks to come help me go to appointments and to help me drive around and try to be there for me. I am so grateful for the wonderful people in my life.

I hope that I can be stronger than this.

I hope that I can overcome all of my weaknesses to get through this.

I’m also freaking out that I’m having twins because that runs in my family pretty strong.

Still trying to walk like thunder.

Still trying to be unstuck.

Still trying to be stronger than I’ve ever been.

Thank you for reading ❤ Artemis

I’ve posted this song before, but it keeps coming up for me… and keeps reminding me to be strong no matter what happens. Here’s another version that I love very much. I also like that Aesop Rock is on the track. I also got to meet him last month, which was pretty awesome for me.

Remember to walk like thunder, guys.