Pregnant and Agoraphobic

I finally made it to a clinic today for the pregnancy. It’s confirmed – I’m definitely pregnant, but I already knew that.

The whole event was incredibly stressful. It involved my boyfriend, my mother, my mothers friend and her daughter coaxing me into the car over the course of three hours while I cried and hyperventilated about driving to the clinic.

At several points I started screaming and trying to get out of the car.

But I made it.

I was fine at the clinic.

It was just driving there, and driving back that were really difficult for me.

I have no idea how I’m going to get through these next months.

I’m going to have to go to a lot of doctors visits.

My best friend is also pregnant, she is flying halfway across the country in two weeks to come help me go to appointments and to help me drive around and try to be there for me. I am so grateful for the wonderful people in my life.

I hope that I can be stronger than this.

I hope that I can overcome all of my weaknesses to get through this.

I’m also freaking out that I’m having twins because that runs in my family pretty strong.

Still trying to walk like thunder.

Still trying to be unstuck.

Still trying to be stronger than I’ve ever been.

Thank you for reading ❤ Artemis

I’ve posted this song before, but it keeps coming up for me… and keeps reminding me to be strong no matter what happens. Here’s another version that I love very much. I also like that Aesop Rock is on the track. I also got to meet him last month, which was pretty awesome for me.

Remember to walk like thunder, guys.

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