Kind of successful, not really, but maybe? Fuck it.

I successfully and unsuccessfully went to my boyfriends birthday party. First, he picked me up and I made it about an hour at his house before hyperventilating and crying in front of everyone and having to leave. I’m glad I don’t get embarrassed easily – although I guess it was probably embarrassing. At least I looked fabulous while having my meltdown.

So, back at my house. My roommates girlfriend is very empathic. We tend to see eye to eye on a lot of things spiritually… So she offered to go with me.

The damnedest thing happened. After we were at his house for a while, she started getting anxiety and all of these weird physical sensations that I’ve noted every time I go there. She ended up having to leave sooner than I needed to due to extreme discomfort.

I had not explained any of these sensations to her about the house, only that I was highly uncomfortable. Especially with the fact that my boyfriend ex was there, and bitch made the cake. I wanted to make the cake. I had an amazing cake planned out. I am awesome in the kitchen, and my cake would have kicked her cakes ass, but I didn’t want to have a cake war because I’m not a little kid. Still bitter. Need to get over it.

Anyway, back to the feelings. She was experiencing pain in the pit of her stomach, compression in her chest, shakiness, dizziness, not feeling grounded, and a barrage of other things. Not that I am glad that she had that experience, but I am glad that I am not the only one who has had that reaction to the house. Still trying to ascertain what my beliefs are on things like entities, ghosts, and spirits. I feel it would be unwise not to take it into consideration based on the sheer amount of people (unrelated to each other) who have contacted me regarding these matters in relation to me. I also had a psychic tell me that I am also a psychic. I do not see into the future, but I certainly feel what other people are feeling. I think it’s one of the reasons I have such a hard time in crowds, or uncomfortable situations. Severe empathy to the point of it being excruciating and uncomfortable, maybe?

So, I have to wonder how to tell my boyfriend that I feel extremely uncomfortable with being at his house. And I really really don’t want to go there anymore. I’ve only managed to make it there a handful of times, and each time results in the most uncomfortable and weird feelings/panic/nausea/etc. imaginable.

Anyway, I’m going to leave this with the song I started writing this to. I feel it is oddly appropriate in its own way. Thanks for reading. – Artemis

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