I had a wonderful mothers day today; I think I made my mom really happy. I surprised her with flowers, chocolate, and we even went out and got our nails done. I’m proud of myself because I didn’t get any panic attacks on the drive, or at the nail salon…. Normally I get really nervous in situations where I can’t leave, or am confined to one place… but today I didn’t.
In other news, I’m totally exhausted. I think I might have gotten an hour of sleep. I’m not entirely sure – but I know it was barely any. My sleep schedule is so incredibly messed up, it makes my head spin. I never know what time I’m going to be able to fall asleep, or what hour of the day I’m going to wake up. Sleeping past noon makes me feel like such a lazy ass. I’m so hard on myself, and so critical. I wish I could just be one of those morning people, that just wakes up naturally, and… ugh. I need to work on my habits, routines, sleep schedule, and all that good stuff. I feel so lost so much of the time. I don’t leave the house very often, so I have absolutely no structure whatsoever. It’s not that I’m a lazy person. I’m not lazy. I actually tend to be overly ambitious, motivated, and excited about starting projects, finding lucrative ways of earning a living from my home, art, and whatever else. I’m not a couch potato. I do play video games, but I spend more time making stuff and doing creative stuff than I do gaming.
Anyway, I’m going to sleep.